deep inside,

I am drowning,
and I know I have the ability to swim back.
I know I have the ability to reach the surface somehow.
I know I should,
and I know deep down I want to.
But I didn’t try, I don’t try, and I’m not sure if I ever will.

I don’t know what went wrong,
though I have some assumptions.
I guess I just don’t have that fighting spirit.
I guess I am just lazy, ignorant, and good-for-nothing.

I am drowning.
I keep running out of oxygen,
but the resentment toward myself keeps weighing me down.